You would think Wales would be full of well lush men because there is loads of famous fit people from here. Me main man Giggsy, old favourite Gav Henson (except for the tan he went to far) and lovely Kelly Jones from the Phonics. Oh I. It pains me to add this traitor on but Steve Jones is not bad either howevs frigging off to America and leaving behind the Rhondda I got no time for him. I am gutted to say thats where the lush list ends and it certainly dont start down my end. My local mens idea of a date is taking you for a subway deal of the day and a cookie for desert, they got no idea. (To be fair if it was a subway melt id be on it like a car bonnet). I needed a bit of excitement from somewhere and low and behold it hit me like a ton of coal. There I was trying to boof me hair up when I accidently sat on me tv remote and it went down a channel I was tutting like no tomorrow until I seen the advert. Channing Tatum was dancing at me from this new film and he looked a treat, so did his mates. I took this as a sign of interventions and blagged my birds to come the piccies. Off we went the same night prepared to the max with our Drench bottles and multipack crisps from Discount UK cuz we were not paying Odeon prices. They are thieves!
The film was strip strip strip it was deffo good cuz none of us spoke to each other for 2 hours and that was saying something being as mouthy Sam was with us. She would talk in a funeral. It was deffo the best film iv ever watched and iv seen the greats like Finding Nemo and Legally Blonde. The film finished and we was gutted. After all that thrusting/strippingness going on we got it into our heads we could find a lookalike in town. Now I look back them crisps must of been spiked cuz any other time I would of been creased at even thinking this was going to happen. I knew the local talent was lower then that girl got that Flo Rider kept harping on about. Off we went though obvs high as friggin kites.
We was too late for our usual start off bar so we had to go further down the street which meant people were going to be more pissed then us. Horrendous times cuz you need to be drunk to put up with another drunk cuz they end up doing your nut in. We walked in and got on the £5 for 5 shots I always end up with the minging fruit salad I was raging. I took it anyway and gulped down me Malibu to block it out cuz then I felt like id had a bounty but in the shady lights I seen him approaching. Not Channing but some strange one with long hair. He was waving at us like a wierdo and I dropped me eyes to the floor cuz u dont make eye contact with these nutters. He asked could he get us a drink and that his name was Dave frigging hell not another one (il explain all that again). Well my birds were all over him like a welsh cake and it was not a cheapy bar so I got me order in with him. He got us all a round and carried on talking about mad stuff like going to B and Q. None of us knew why like we just nodded.
I asked him where his friends was and he said he had none. I knew then it was game over and we had to give him the brush off. I gave the signal and we moved slowly away while old choppsy herself Sam kept laughing her head off at him like a tool cuz he was getting her shots. She was showing me right up all for a sambuka. Then she started telling him we been to see Magic Mike carrying on the convo while winking at me doing a shot impression (no shame). Dave pipes up 'oh I know what thats about girls iv seen him on telly' laughing away as he starts to swing his hips trying to be sexy but he was making me bad. He was dancing around all of us like we was poles and shouting dead loud IM MAGIC MIKE, IM MAGIC MIKE while he unbuttoned his dodgy green shirt and asked Sam to rub his chest. I was creased then cuz her face fell like one of them boxer dogs. Then he was thrusting himself in our directions. I nearly fainted just so I would not have to carry on seeing this sight. I was fuming . Even the chavs was laughing at us with there combovers and I was going as red as a welsh dragon. We had one option and that was RUN out the door and not look back as he kept shouting "IM MAGIC GIRLS". Yeah black magic the dodgy wierd kind. Thanking me lucky stars we did not see him after that cuz id of put me jacket right over me head but he prob went to B and Q or is still stripping somehwere as I write this.
Moral of me story dont go the Odeon to see hot strippers and then for a drink cuz you will be proper dissapointed
Peace x
@Welshgirl6
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