People dont half love a hot few days in this country mainly cuz it rains for the other 360 days of the year. The sun shines, the birds sing and the chavs start filling up every beer garden invented. Everyone on this isle is happy except that is for ME.
I am going to sound one miserable bint but I cant actually bare the heat. I like ice, snow, rain, hailstones, hurricanes you get the picture like. As soon as I hear the word "heatwave" I go in a right old raging mood. Think Mcenroe in that tennis match. "You cannot be serious! 20 degrees!". I know how Michael Douglas felt in that film when he just went proper mental cuz he was stuck in traffic and it was boiling.
To illustrate my point of why I find this weather as annoying as Katherine Jenkins (forgive me Wales ) see below.
1) Clothing is one epic BLAG when the sun shows itself. It takes me ages to find something to wear as im not blessed with a size 6 frame so putting on a playsuit or a pair of shorts leaves me in a cold sweat then a hot sweat cuz of the friggin weather. So I dont give in and wear jeans while sweating like a vicar in a brothel at the same time. Its a slippery slope especially when your putting one of those flowers in your hair that was in style in 1998 to look a bit "summery". Give me October and a knitted sweater anyday.
2) The heat doesnt just ruin my life here oh no it halts any chances of a decent holiday which means I have no REAL TAN. Me mates dread to ask am I going on holiday cuz we all know unless its booked for April or October (ie coldest months) theres no way im going. They all hope i say "naaa you go and have a friggin ball girls". They wish. So there we are surrounded by the 60+ brigade watching a parrot show in Benidorm. Needless to say they hate me especially when they see Ibiza in July with its twenty thousand madheads and shit hot clubs. Oops sorry girls.
To be fair though they know they would have a proper boring time without me.
3) The heat doesnt just bring out fit people it brings out all the mingers that smell of BO and have 6 foot long underarm hair. Also wearing a "lick this" vest top with an ice cream on when your approaching middle age is just bad for the soul.
Or the ones who think its ok to wear those proper u.g.l.y sandals with velcro or flip flops. This is even worse as it is coupled with my other hatred of feet which is another story.
4) The worst factor of all though is where I work. Its the food selling equivalent of a greenhouse and I cannot cope with the soaring temperatures inside it. Coupled with this comes what seems like 50,000 people in a mass riot buying charcoal and kebabs. I stare at them with evils hoping it starts pissing down as they light the coals.
As I finish typing Sian Lloyd (legend who went with that one who went with a cheeky girl) informed me its going to go proper rank next week.
I smile inside
@welshgirl6
Peace. x
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